PARKES, of sanitation master,
Wanted "purity and light;"
I'm content to risk disaster,
With unhygienic night.
* * * * *
QUEER QUERIES.--HYMENEAL.--I have been asked to attend the wedding of
a friend, and respond to the toast of "The Ladies." I have never done
such a thing before, and feel rather nervous about it. My friend says
that I must "try and be very comic." I have thought of one humorous
remark--about the "weaker sex" being really stronger--which I fancy
will be effective, but I can't think of another. Would _one_ good joke
of that sort be sufficient? _A propos_ of the lady marksman at Bisley,
I should like to advise all ladies to "try the Butts," only I am
afraid this might be taken for a reference to the President of the
Divorce Division. How could I work the Jackson case in neatly? Would
it be allowable to pin my speech on the wedding-cake, and read it off?
Also, could I wear a mask? Any hints would be welcomed by--BEST MAN.
* * * * *
NOT QUITE POLITE.--The Manager of the Shaftesbury Theatre advertises
"three distinct plays at 8.
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