"
"Being grateful," says Paget,
"I'd ask you to lunch;
But just, Sir John, tell me.
Did you call me PUNCH?"
"In wit, PUNCH is equalled,"
Says Pollen, "by few;
In naming him, therefore,
I couldn't mean you,"
"Thanks! thanks! To bear malice,"
Save Paget, "I'm loath;
Two answers I've got, and I'm
Charm'd with them both."
* * * * *
EPIGRAMS.
1.--THE CAUSE.
Lisette has lost her wanton wiles--
What secret care consumes her youth,
And circumscribes her smiles?--
_A spec on a front tooth!_
2.--PRIDE.
Fitzsmall, who drinks with knights and lords,
To steal a share of notoriety,
Will tell you, in important words,
He _mixes_ in the best society.
* * * * *
ENGLISH AND AMERICAN PRODUCE.
We find, by the _Times_ of Saturday, the British _teasel_ crops in the
parish of Melksham have fallen entirely to the ground, and from their
appearance denote a complete failure. Another paragraph in the same paper
speaks quite as discouragingly of the appearance of the American _Teazle_
at the Haymarket.
* * * * *
NURSERY EDUCATION REPORT.--No. 2.
THE ROYAL RHYTHMICAL ALPHABET,
_To be said or sung by the Infant Princess._
[Illustration]
A stands for ARISTOCRACY, a thing I should admire;
[Illustration]
B stands for a BISHOP, who is clothed in soft attire;
[Illustration]
C beginneth CABINET, where Mamma keeps her _tools_;
[Illustration]
D doth stand for DOWNING-STREET, the "Paradise of Fools;"
[Illustration]
E beginneth ENGLAND, that granteth the supplies;
[Illustration]
F doth stand for FOREIGNERS, whom I should patronize;
[Illustration]
G doth stand for GOLD--good gold!--for which man freedom barters;
[Illustration]
H beginneth HONORS--that is, ribbons, stars, and garters;
[Illustration]
I stands for my INCOME (several thousand pounds per ann.
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