Most miserable! and deplorable!
`O happy Temperance! never too much to be praised! of the
_first_, which thou mad'st the _golden_ Age, _the Ornament and
Safeguard!_ thy own Persuasive and Value! worshipped and adored by
all pure and pious Souls in all Ages. Thou art, if any thing in the
Earth, _the true Composer of Archaeus_, and the Preserver of a sound
Mind in a sound Body. Thou lead'st thy Adorers right on the way to a
long and happy old Age, with a pleasant and youthful, graceful and
lovely Countenance. To conclude, thou art adorned with the Praises
even of thy Enemies, and art counted lovely by them, with whom, when
thou art cast off, there remains the Curse of _Satyricus_, _Let them
see this Virtue, and waste away, since they have forsaken it_.'
_The Pennsylvania Gazette_, February 1, 1732/3
_A Meditation on a Quart Mugg_
Wretched, miserable, and unhappy Mug! I pity thy luckless Lot,
I commiserate thy Misfortunes, thy Griefs fill me with Compassion,
and because of thee are Tears made frequently to burst from my Eyes.
How often have I seen him compell'd to hold up his Handle at
the Bar, for no other Crime than that of being empty; then snatch'd
away by a surly Officer, and plung'd suddenly into a Tub of cold
Water: Sad Spectacle, and Emblem of human Penury, oppress'd by
arbitrary Power! How often is he hurry'd down into a dismal Vault,
sent up fully laden in a cold Sweat, and by a rude Hand thrust into
the Fire! How often have I seen it obliged to undergo the
Indignities of a dirty Wench; to have melting Candles dropt on its
naked Sides, and sometimes in its Mouth, to risque being broken into
a thousand Pieces, for Actions which itself was not guilty of! How
often is he forced into the Company of boisterous Sots, who say all
their Nonsence, Noise, profane Swearing, Cursing, and Quarreling, on
the harmless Mug, which speaks not a Word! They overset him, maim
him, and sometimes turn him to Arms offensive or defensive, as they
please; when of himself he would not be of either Party, but would as
willingly stand still.
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