The temptation of the hour were too much
for my habitual self-restraint. I took a glass of wine with you, Mr.
Elliott, after I had already taken more than was prudent under the
circumstances another with Mr. Birtwell, another with General
Abercrombie--alas for him! he fell that night so low that he has
never risen again--and another with some one else. It was almost
impossible to put a restraint upon yourself. Invitation and
solicitation met you at every turn. The sphere of self-indulgence
was so strong that it carried almost every one a little too far, and
many into excess and debauch. I was told afterward that at a late
hour the scene in the supper-room was simply disgraceful. Boys and
men, and sadder still, young women, were more than half drunk, and
behaved most unseemly. I can believe this, for I have seen such
things too often.
"'As I went out from Mr. Birtwell's that night, and the cold,
snow-laden air struck into my face on crossing the pavement to my
carriage, cooling my blood and clearing my brain, I thought of Mrs.
Carlton and the life that had been placed in my hands, and a feeling
of concern dropped into my heart. A night's indulgence in
wine-drinking was a poor preparation for the work before me, in
which a clear head and steady nerves were absolutely essential. How
would I be in the morning? The question thrust itself into my
thoughts and troubled me. My apprehensions were not groundless.
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