"I felt my hand tremble as I removed the bandages and opened the
deep cavity left by the displaced tumor. After the blood with which
it was filled had been removed, I saw at the deepest part of the
cavity the point from which the blood was flowing, and made an
effort to recover the artery, which, owing to the uncertainty of
hand which had followed the loss of stimulation, I had tied
imperfectly. But it was soon apparent that the parts had swollen,
and that I should have to cut deeper in order to get possession of
the artery, which lay in close contact with the internal jugular
vein. Doctor Kline was holding the head and shoulders of the patient
in such a way as to give tension to all the vessels of the neck,
while my assistant held open the lips of the wound, so that I could
see well into the cavity.
"My hand did not recover its steadiness. As I began cutting down to
find the artery I seemed suddenly to be smitten with blindness and
to lose a clear perception of what I was doing. It seemed as if some
malignant spirit had for the moment got possession of me, coming in
through the disorder wrought in my nervous system by over
stimulation, and used the hand I could no longer see to guide the
instrument I was holding, for death instead of life. I remember now
that a sudden impulse seemed given to my arm as if some one had
struck it a blow. Then a sound which it had never before been my
misfortune to hear--and I pray God I may never hear it
again--startled me to an agonized sense of the disaster I had
wrought.
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