"
I say, _closet_: for I durst not aspire so high, as to hope the favour
of his company among his servants, in our Sunday devotions.--I knew
it would be going too far, in _his_ opinion, to expect it from him. In
_me_ their mistress, had I been ever so high-born, it was not amiss,
because I, and they, _every one_ of us, were _his_; I in one degree,
Mr. Longman in another, Mrs. Jervis in another--But from a man of his
high temper and manner of education, I knew I could never hope for it,
so would not lose _every_ thing, by grasping at _too much_.
But in the midst of all these comfortable proceedings, and my further
charming hopes, a nasty masquerade threw into his way a temptation,
which for a time blasted all my prospects, and indeed made me doubt
my own head almost. For, judge my disappointment, when I found all
my wishes frustrated, all my prayers rendered ineffectual; his very
morality, which I had flattered myself, in time, I should be an humble
instrument to exalt into religion, shocked, and in danger; and all the
work to begin over again, if offended Grace should ever again offer
itself to the dear wilful trespasser!
But who should pretend to scrutinize the councils of the
Almighty?--for out of all this _evil appearance_ was to proceed the
_real good_, I had been so long, and so often, supplicating for!
The dear man _was_ to be on the brink of relapsing: it was proper,
that I should be so very uneasy, as to assume a conduct not natural to
my temper, and to raise his generous concern for me: and, in the very
crisis, divine Grace interposed, made him sensible of his danger, made
him resolve against his error, before it was yet too late: and his
sliding feet, quitting the slippery path he was in, collected new
strength, and he stood the firmer and more secure for his peril.
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