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Dickens, Charles

"Master Humphreys Clock"

'
'There!' cried Sam, 'now you're satisfied. You hear she's a
spinster.'
'A wot?' said his father, with deep scorn.
'A spinster,' replied Sam.
Mr. Weller looked very hard at his son for a minute or two, and
then said,
'Never mind vether she makes jokes or not, that's no matter. Wot I
say is, is that 'ere female a widder, or is she not?'
'Wot do you mean by her making jokes?' demanded Sam, quite aghast
at the obscurity of his parent's speech.
'Never you mind, Samivel,' returned Mr. Weller gravely; 'puns may
be wery good things or they may be wery bad 'uns, and a female may
be none the better or she may be none the vurse for making of 'em;
that's got nothing to do vith widders.'
'Wy now,' said Sam, looking round, 'would anybody believe as a man
at his time o' life could be running his head agin spinsters and
punsters being the same thing?'
'There an't a straw's difference between 'em,' said Mr. Weller.
'Your father didn't drive a coach for so many years, not to be ekal
to his own langvidge as far as THAT goes, Sammy.'
Avoiding the question of etymology, upon which the old gentleman's
mind was quite made up, he was several times assured that the
housekeeper had never been married.


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