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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, November 15, 1890"

Matrimony did not
seem to be thought of till a man had turned the corner of a century.
SHEM, himself, for example, was fully a hundred before his third
son, ARPACHSHAD, was born. But ARPACHSHAD was already a husband and a
father at thirty-five.
"That," said SARK, "is a remarkable circumstance that has escaped
the notice of the commentators. It indicates unusual forwardness
of character and a habit of swift decision. We hear nothing more of
ARPACHSHAD, but we may be sure he made things move. Now what we want
in this garden is a brisk man, a fellow always up to date, if not
ahead of it. Let us encourage WALLOPS by calling him ARPACHSHAD."
WALLOPS on being consulted said, he thought it ought to be a matter of
another two shillings a-week in his wages; to which I demurred, and it
was finally compromised on the basis of a rise of a shilling a-week.
As far as I have observed, SARK'S device, like many others he has put
forward, has nothing in it. WALLOPS couldn't be slower in going round
than is ARPACHSHAD. The only time he ever displays any animation is
when he discovers some fresh disaster.


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