This is the second banquet, for when the precise preliminaries of a
Dutch engagement are settled a betrothal feast is held. Friends are
bidden to the wedding by the receipt of a box of sweets and a bottle
of wine known as "Bride's tears". For the wedding day itself there is
a particular brand of wine which contains little grains of gold. The
Dutch also have special cake and wine for the celebration of births.
The position of the Dutch wife is now very much that of the wife
in England; but in Holland's great days she ruled. Something of
her quality is to be seen in the stories of Barneveldt's widow
and Grotius's wife, and the heroism and address of the widow Kenau
Hasselaer during the siege of Haarlem. Davies has an interesting page
or two on this subject: "To be master of his own house is an idea
which seems never to have occurred to the mind of a genuine Dutchman;
nor did he often commence any undertaking, whether public or private,
without first consulting the partner of his cares; and it is even said,
that some of the statesmen most distinguished for their influence in
the affairs of their own country and Europe in general, were accustomed
to receive instructions at home to which they ventured not to go
counter. But the dominion of these lordly dames, all despotic though it
were, was ever exerted for the benefit of those who obeyed.
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