But I don't think that
he feels very anxious on that point!
MARCH.-It does one's heart good to see how happy they are! And it
does one's heart good to have one's husband set up an opposition to
the goings on by behaving like a lover himself.
Chapter 23
XXIII.
JANUARY 1, 1851
IT is a great while since I wrote that. "God has been just as good as
ever"; I want to say that before I say another word. But He has
indeed smitten me very sorely.
While we were in the midst of our rejoicings about James and Helen,
and the bright future that seemed opening before them, he came home
one day very ill. Ernest happened to be in and attended to him at
once. But the disease was, at the very outset, so violent, and raged
with such absolute fury, that no remedies had any effect. Everything,
even now, seems confused in my mind. It seems as if there was a
sudden transition from the most brilliant, joyous health, to a brief
but fearful struggle for life, speedily followed by the awful mystery
and stillness of death. Is it possible, I still ask myself, that four
short days wrought an event whose consequences must run through
endless years ?-- Poor mother! Poor Helen!-When it was all over, I
do not know what to say of mother but that she behaved and quieted
herself like a weaned child. Her sweet composure awed me; I dared
not give way to my own vehement, terrible sorrow; in the presence of
this Christ-like patience, all noisy demonstrations seemed profane.
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