Alas, it was my view of
life of which I was lost in admiration, for I am. sure that if I ever
come under the complete dominion of Christ's gospel I shall not know
the Sentiment of disdain. I feel truly ashamed and sorry that I am
still so far from being penetrated with that spirit.
My pride has had a terrible fall. As I sat on my throne, looking down
on all the Amelias in the world, I felt a profound pity at their
delight in petty trifles, their love of position, of mere worldly
show and passing vanities.
"They are all alike," I said to myself. "They are incapable of
understanding a character like mine, or the exalted, ennobling
principles that govern me. They crave the applause of this world,
they are satisfied with fine clothes, fine houses, fine equipages.
They think and talk of nothing else; I have not one idea in common
with them. I see the emptiness and hollowness of these things. I am
absolutely unworldly; my ambition is to attain whatever they, in
their blind folly and ignorance, absolutely despise."
Thus communing with myself, I was not a little pleased to hear Dr.
Cabot and his wife announced. I hastened to meet them and to display
to them the virtues I so admired in myself. They had hardly a chance
to utter a word. I spoke eloquently of my contempt for worldly
vanities, and of my enthusiastic longings for a higher life.
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