There certainly was one view of the case which was very
distressing. How would it be with him if after all she should say that she
would marry him? After having given her her choice--having put it all in
writing--he could not again go back from it. He would be in her power, and
of what use would his life be to him? Would Parliament or the India Office
or the eye of the public be able to comfort him then in the midst of his
many miseries? What could he do with a wife whom he married with a
declaration that he disliked her? With such feelings as were his, how
could he stand before a clergyman and take an oath that he would love her
and cherish her? Would she not ever be as an adder to him--as an adder
whom it would be impossible that he should admit into his bosom? Could he
live in the same house with her; and if so, could he ask his mother and
sisters to visit her? He remembered well what Mrs. Hittaway had called
her--a nasty, low, scheming, ill-conducted, dishonest little wretch! And
he believed that she was so! Yet he was once again offering to marry her,
should she choose to accept him.
Nevertheless, the letter was sent.
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