She herself did not know what
she would be at. At this period of her career she did not want to marry
her cousin--having resolved that she would be Lady Fawn. Nor did she
intend that her cousin should be her lover--in the ordinary sense of love.
She was far too wary in the pursuit of the world's goods to sacrifice
herself to any such wish as that. She did want him to help her about the
diamonds; but such help as that she might have, as she knew well, on much
easier terms. There was probably an anxiety in her bosom to cause him to
be untrue to Lucy Morris; but the guiding motive of her conduct was the
desire to make things seem to be other than they were. To be always acting
a part rather than living her own life was to her everything. "After all
we must come to facts," he said, after a while. "I suppose it will be
better that you should marry Lord Fawn."
"If you wish it."
"Nay; I cannot have that said. In this matter you must rule yourself by
your own judgment. If you are averse to it----" She shook her head. "Then
you will own that it had better be so." Again she shook her head. "Lizzie,
for your sake and my own, I must declare that if you have no opinion in
this matter, neither will I have any.
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