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Various

"The Wit and Humor of America, Volume II. (of X.)"

Then you ken put her in wheat after a while and git your money
back."
This drastic metaphor had its effect. Seffy began to understand. He said
so.
"Now, look here, Seffy," his father went on more softly, "when you git
to this--and this--and this,"--he went through his pantomime again, and
it included a progressive caressing to the kissing point--"well, chust
when you bose comfortable--hah?--mebby on one cheer, what I know--it's
so long sence I done it myself--when you bose comfortable, ast
her--chust ast her--aham!--what she'll take for the pasture-field! She
owns you bose and she can't use bose you and the pasture. A bird in the
hand is worth seferal in another feller's--not so?"
But Seffy only stopped and stared at his father. This, again, he did
_not_ understand.
"You know well enough I got no money to buy no pasture-field," said he.
"Gosh-a'mighty!" said the old man joyfully, making as if he would strike
Seffy with his huge fist--a thing he often did. "And ain't got nossing
to trade?"
"Nothing except the mare!" said the boy.
"Say--ain't you got no feelings, you idjiot?"
"Oh--" said Seffy.


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