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Various

"The Wit and Humor of America, Volume II. (of X.)"

What woman has done woman may do again. Mothers, train up your
daughters in the way they should fight, and when they are married they
will not depart this life. God is on the side of the stoutest muscle as
well as of the heaviest battalions. It is perfectly useless to talk
about the equality of the sexes as long as a man can strangle his own
mother-in-law.
I was exceedingly thrilled by the appearance of the two young gentlemen
from the Cannibal Islands, who are beautifully embossed in green and
red, and compassionated them for the sacrifices they make in putting on
blankets and civilization. Is it right to deprive them of their daily
bread,--I mean their daily baby? Think what self-restraint they must
exercise while gazing upon the toothsome infants that congregate at the
circus! That they do gaze and smack their overhanging lips I know,
because, after going through their cannibalistic dance, they sat behind
me and howled in a subdued manner. The North American Indian who
occupied an adjoining seat, favored me with a translation of their
charming conversation, by which I learned many important facts
concerning man as an article of diet.


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