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Various

"The Wit and Humor of America, Volume II. (of X.)"


The maiden cried: "Unhand me now, or, weak girl that I am--"
And then Budd Wilkins he jumped up and give his hat a slam,
And, quicker'n I can tell it he was up there raisin' Ned,
A-rescuin' the maiden and a-punchin' the rogue's head.
I can't, somehow, perticklerize concernin' that there row:
The whole thing seems a sort of blur as I recall it now--
But I can still remember that there was a fearful thud,
With the air chock full of arms and legs and the villain under Budd.
I never see a chap so bruised and battered up before
As that there villain was when he was picked up from the floor!--
The show? Oh, it was busted, and they put poor Budd in jail,
And kept him there all night, because I couldn't go his bail.
Next mornin' what d' you think we heard? Most s'prised in all my life!
That sweet, confidin' maiden was the cruel villain's wife!
Budd wilted when he heard it, and he groaned, and then, says he:
"Well, I'll be dummed! Bill, that's the last play actin' show fer me!"


BALLAD
BY CHARLES GODFREY LELAND

Der noble Ritter Hugo
Von Schwillensaufenstein,
Rode out mit shpeer and helmet,
Und he coom to de panks of de Rhine.


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