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Various

"The Wit and Humor of America, Volume II. (of X.)"

Briggs has kindly consented to do some of his parlor-magic tricks.
(Mr. Briggs _steps forward, a large, florid young man, wearing a "made"
dress-tie, the buckle of which crawls up the back of his collar._)
BRIGGS--Now, ladies and gentlemen, I shall have to ask you all to move
to the other side of the room. (_This is accomplished with muttered
uncomplimentary remarks concerning the magician._)
BRIGGS (_to Hostess_)--I must have the piano pushed to the further end.
I must have plenty of space. (_All the men guests are pressed into
service, and, with much difficulty the piano is moved._)
BRIGGS--Now, I want four large screens.
HOSTESS (_faintly_)--But I have only two!
BRIGGS--Well, then, get me a clothes-horse and a couple of sheets.
POOR RELATIVE--You know, Sarah, I used the last two when I made up my
bed in the children's nursery yesterday. I can easily get--
HOSTESS (_hastily_)--No, Maria, don't trouble. (_To guests_)--Perhaps,
some of you gentlemen wouldn't mind lending us your overcoats to cover
the clothes-horse?
CHORUS (_with great lack of enthusiasm_)--Of course! Delighted! (_They
go for coats.


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