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Various

"The Wit and Humor of America, Volume II. (of X.)"

And, now that you are here, I
don't care if any one else comes or not. (_To women guests._) How d'ye
do? I must apologize for Mr. Smythe--he's been detained down-town. He
just telephoned me. He'll be in later. Do sit down; it's just as cheap
as standing, I always say, and it does save your feet. You ladies can
find seats over in the corner. (_Detaining_ Baron.) Dear baron--(_Enter
guests._)
GUEST--So glad you have a clear evening. Now, when _we_ gave _our_
affair, it _poured_. Of course, _we_ had a crowd, just the same. People
_always_ come to _us_, whether it rains or not. (_Takes a seat. Guests
begin to arrive in numbers._)
HOSTESS--So sweet of you to come!
GUEST--So glad you have a pleasant evening. I am sure to have a bad
night whenever I entertain--
HOSTESS--(_to another guest_)--So delightful of you to come!
GUEST--Such a perfect evening! I'm _so_ glad. I said as we started out,
"Now, this time, Mrs. Smythe can't help but have plenty of people.
Whenever I entertain, it's sure to--" (_More guests._)
(_Telegram arrives, announcing that the prima donna has a sore throat,
and will be unable to come.


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