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Various

"The Wit and Humor of America, Volume II. (of X.)"


"'Tis some time befure they comprehind that there ar-re other candydates
in th' field. But th' other candydates know it. Th' sthrongest iv
thim--his name is Flannigan, an' he's a re-tail dealer in wines an'
liquors, an' he lives over his establishment. Flannigan was nomynated
enthusyastically at a prim'ry held in his bar-rn; an' befure Willie Boye
had picked out pants that wud match th' color iv th' Austhreelyan ballot
this here Flannigan had put a man on th' day watch, tol' him to speak
gently to anny raygistered voter that wint to sleep behind th' sthove,
an' was out that night visitin' his frinds. Who was it judged th' cake
walk? Flannigan. Who was it carrid th' pall? Flannigan. Who was it sthud
up at th' christening? Flannigan. Whose ca-ards did th' grievin' widow,
th' blushin' bridegroom, or th' happy father find in th' hack?
Flannigan's. Ye bet ye'er life. Ye see Flannigan wasn't out f'r th' good
iv th' community. Flannigan was out f'r Flannigan an' th' stuff.
"Well, iliction day come around; an' all th' imminent frinds iv good
gover'mint had special wires sthrung into th' club, an' waited f'r th'
returns.


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