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Various

"The Wit and Humor of America, Volume II. (of X.)"

He fired by file, he fired by
platoons, by company, by regiments, and by brigades. He opened his
cannon,--siege-guns down thar, Napoleons here, twelve-pounders
yonder,--big guns, little guns, middle-sized guns, round shot, shells,
shrapnels, grape, canister, mortar, mines and magazines, every livin'
battery and bomb a-goin' at the same time. The house trembled, the
lights danced, the walls shuk, the floor come up, the ceilin' come down,
the sky split, the ground rocked--heavens and earth, creation, sweet
potatoes, Moses, ninepences, glory, tenpenny nails, Samson in a
'simmon-tree, Tump Tompson in a tumbler-cart, roodle-oodle-oodle-oodle-
ruddle-uddle-uddle-uddle--raddle-addle-eedle--riddle-iddle-iddle-
iddle--reedle-eedle-eedle-eedle--p-r-r-r-rlank! Bang!!! lang! perlang!
p-r-r-r-r-r!! Bang!!!!
With that bang! he lifted himself bodily into the a'r, and he come down
with his knees, his ten fingers, his ten toes, his elbows, and his nose,
striking every single solitary key on the pianner at the same time. The
thing busted and went off into seventeen hundred and fifty-seven
thousand five hundred and forty-two hemi-demi-semi-quivers, and I know'd
no mo'.


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