I went to hang a smile in front of me,
But weeps were in my glimmers when I tried.
The pastor murmured, "Two and two make one,"
And slipped a sixteen K on Mamie's grab;
And when the game was tied and all was done
The guests shied footwear at the bridal cab,
And Murphy's little gilt-roofed brother Jim
Snickered, "She's left her happy home for him."
HOW "RUBY" PLAYED
BY GEORGE W. BAGBY
(Jud Brownin, when visiting New York, goes to hear Rubinstein, and gives
the following description of his playing.)
Well, sir, he had the blamedest, biggest, catty-cornerdest pianner you
ever laid eyes on; somethin' like a distracted billiard-table on three
legs. The lid was hoisted, and mighty well it was. If it hadn't been,
he'd 'a' tore the entire inside clean out and shattered 'em to the four
winds of heaven.
_Played well?_ You bet he did; but don't interrupt me. When he first sit
down he 'peared to keer mighty little 'bout playin' and wisht he hadn't
come. He tweedle-leedled a little on a treble, and twoodle-oodled some
on the base,--just foolin' and boxin' the thing's jaws for bein' in his
way.
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