The dinner hour was spent in caucussin privately in one uv the parlors
uv the hotel. The Chairman asked who shood make speeches after dinner,
wen every man uv em pulled from his right side coat pocket a roll uv
manuscript, and sed he hed jotted down a few ijees wich he hed
conclooded to present extemporaneously to the Convenshun. That Babel
over, the Chairman sed he presoomed some one shood be selected to
prepare a address; whereupon every delegate rose, and pulled a roll uv
manuscript from his left side coat pocket, and sed he had jotted down a
few ijees on the situashn, wich he proposed to present, et settry. This
occasioned another shindy; wen the Chairman remarked "Resolushens," wen
every delegate rose, pulled a roll uv manuscript from his right breast
coat pocket, and sed he hed jotted down a few ijees, wich, etc.
I stood it until some one mentioned me ez Chaplin to the expedition
West, when the pressure becum unendurable. They sposed I was keeper uv
the President's conscience, and I hed not a minit's peece after that. In
vain I ashoored em that, there bein no consciences about the White
House, no one could hold sich a offis; in vain I ashoored em that I hed
no influence with His Majesty.
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