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Various

"The Wit and Humor of America, Volume II. (of X.)"

"
When I beheld the ordeal through which Grandpa Keeler was called to
pass, at the hands of his faithful consort, before he was considered in
a fit condition of mind and body to embark for the sanctuary, I marveled
not at the old man's reluctance, nor that he had indeed seen clouds and
tempest fringing the horizon.
Immediately after breakfast, he set out for the barn, ostensibly to "see
to the chores;" really, I believe, to obtain a few moments' respite,
before worse evil should come upon him.
Pretty soon Grandma was at the back door calling in firm though
persuasive tones:
"Husband! husband! come in, now, and get ready."
No answer. Then it was in another key, weighty, yet expressive of no
weak irritation, that Grandma called "Come, pa! pa-a! pa-a-a!" Still no
answer.
Then that voice of Grandma's sung out like a trumpet, terrible with
meaning--"Bijonah Keeler!"
But Grandpa appeared not. Next, I saw Grandma slowly but surely
gravitating in the direction of the barn, and soon she returned,
bringing with her that ancient delinquent, who looked like a lost sheep
indeed and a truly unreconciled one.


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