Such as I have described
the preparation of the "Conquest of Mexico"; and, satisfied with
being raised so nearly to a level with the rest of my species, I
scarcely envied the superior good fortune of those who could
prolong their studies into the evening, and the later hours of
the night.
But a change has again taken place during the last two years.
The sight of my eye has become gradually dimmed, while the
sensibility of the nerve has been so far increased, that for
several weeks of the last year I have not opened a volume, and
through the whole time I have not had the use of it, on an
average, for more than an hour a day. Nor can I cheer myself
with the delusive expectation, that, impaired as the organ has
become, from having been tasked, probably, beyond its strength,
it can ever renew its youth, or be of much service to me
hereafter in my literary researches. Whether I shall have the
heart to enter, as I had proposed, on a new and more extensive
field of historical labor, with these impediments, I cannot say.
Perhaps long habit, and a natural desire to follow up the career
which I have so long pursued, may make this, in a manner,
necessary, as my past experience has already proved that it is
practicable.
From this statement - too long, I fear, for his patience - the
reader, who feels any curiosity about the matter, will understand
the real extent of my embarrassments in my historical pursuits.
That they have not been very light will be readily admitted, when
it is considered that I have had but a limited use of my eye, in
its best state, and that much of the time I have been debarred
from the use of it altogether.
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