He was the first that ever found out the secret of contriving a
soporiferous medicine to be conveyed in at the ears {148d}. It was
a compound of sulphur and balm of Gilead, with a little pilgrim's
salve.
He wore a large plaister of artificial caustics on his stomach, with
the fervour of which he could set himself a groaning like the famous
board upon application of a red-hot iron.
He would stand in the turning of a street, and calling to those who
passed by, would cry to one, "Worthy sir, do me the honour of a good
slap in the chaps;" to another, "Honest friend, pray favour me with
a handsome kick in the rear;" "Madam, shall I entreat a small box in
the ear from your ladyship's fair hands?" "Noble captain, lend a
reasonable thwack, for the love of God, with that cane of yours over
these poor shoulders." And when he had by such earnest
solicitations made a shift to procure a basting sufficient to swell
up his fancy and his sides, he would return home extremely
comforted, and full of terrible accounts of what he had undergone
for the public good.
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