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Swift, Jonathan, 1667-1745

"A Tale of a Tub"


Now their mysteries and rites were performed in this manner. It is
well known among the learned that the virtuosos of former ages had a
contrivance for carrying and preserving winds in casks or barrels,
which was of great assistance upon long sea-voyages, and the loss of
so useful an art at present is very much to be lamented, though, I
know not how, with great negligence omitted by Pancirollus. It was
an invention ascribed to AEolus himself, from whom this sect is
denominated, and who, in honour of their founder's memory, have to
this day preserved great numbers of those barrels, whereof they fix
one in each of their temples, first beating out the top. Into this
barrel upon solemn days the priest enters, where, having before duly
prepared himself by the methods already described, a secret funnel
is also conveyed to the bottom of the barrel, which admits new
supplies of inspiration from a northern chink or cranny. Whereupon
you behold him swell immediately to the shape and size of his
vessel. In this posture he disembogues whole tempests upon his
auditory, as the spirit from beneath gives him utterance, which
issuing ex adytis and penetralibus, is not performed without much
pain and griping.


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